OOooo I nearly caused a rumpus last night. Jack White has been touring with a male band and a female band and alternating them each night. Last night was the last night of the tour and so he did a set with the women and a set with the men. When the men came on, some bloke next to me but one said words to the effect of, yes, now the daddies are here. Then that ‘the real band’s coming on now’ with much approving gesticulation. I was instantly enraged to the point of no return but unfortunately the wittiest riposte I could think of was ‘WHATEVER!!’ Bellowed at close proximity. He looked a bit confused at the idea anyone might disagree. Then he started singing along tunelessly to White Stripes classic ‘I can tell that we are gonna be friends’ before hugging his mate who was next to him in a display of friendliness.
I think they began to feel the effect of my scorn because after a few more withering looks they went to the bar, but I spent the next half hour wishing I’d come up with better, more articulate retorts. Even outright lies would’ve been acceptable. ‘I’ve toured with Robert Plant you loser’. What should I have said? ‘I feel sorry for your girlfriend – presumably she’s chained to the washing machine just now.’ might have done it.
It all made me think that if I were a bloke, I’d probably get in fights.
Other than that. Jack White was great. But the sound was bad – couldn’t hear the vocals or those clever lyrics and the fiddle players might as well not have been there.